Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
