I just made out with a guy for $7.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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