giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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