break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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