I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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