I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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