Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
and you said cock pushups were impossible
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
