Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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