We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
