Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
