New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
