bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
