I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
