i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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