Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
