you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
