How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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