i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
