This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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