Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
