Well apparently he's into motor boating.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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