I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
