We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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