We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
