Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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