You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Randomize
