I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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