Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She told me I should be a condom model.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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