i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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