Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
