i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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