I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
