I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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