Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize