I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
