Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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