Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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