So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
