I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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