There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
barbara walters just said penis...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
