yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
