Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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