i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Randomize
