why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
