I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Where did you get a picture of my penis
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
