Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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