my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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