its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
