so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
