Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
