All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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