Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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