She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
