we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
