you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
