I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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